This weekend we watched the period piece called “Wives and Daughters”. While a fun “Jane Austen” type of movie, it had lots of soap opera machinations and manipulation. It is great fun to watch that in a movie but not much fun to live in real life. That is why The 2nd Law of Hadley is “The best game is no game!”

There are 3 ways to get someone to behave in a certain way:

• Coercion: Forcing someone to do what you want. This is easy to do short term and get a result, but wrecks the relationship ultimately. Even in its subtle forms, it takes away from openness and communication.
• Manipulation: Trying to get a certain behavior but not explaining clearly to the person about what you are doing and why. Great soap operas are built on this and typically involve either no results or much miscommunication. This erodes trust and willingness to share thoughts and feelings.
• Direct discussion: Having a dialogue with someone to talk about where you are at, the objective, options to get there and the next steps that you mutually agree on. This feels like a partnership if done right. In the worst case, you at least know you disagree and why and can work on it.

If you are not used to using the third option, it may feel like it involves some risk. Your habit may be using the first two in either a subtle or strong way. With practice and forethought, direct discussion is always better (unless you are perhaps in a Jane Austen movie or in politics).

If you have a situation that you are not dealing with for whatever reason, or if you have tried coercion or manipulation and they have not worked (and probably made the situation worse), I highly recommend you try the direct approach.

• What are you ignoring that you need to deal with?

• How can you handle it using The 2nd Law of Hadley, no games?

• Which method of the three above does your team feel that you most use?

If you and your team need to directly deal with issues and to keep your success in plain sight, call us at 800-786-4332, or email Info@AppliedVisionWorks.com.  It only takes 30 minutes to get started!