A wonderful friend and client is 60 years old. He commented to me one day that when he was a child, anytime anyone got married, it was not wise to move further away than you could see the smoke from the chimney of the in-laws home. This way the spouse could still easily go see her mother and father (I think we call it keeping your support system today).

As part of this, children of the married couple could spend time with the rest of the family, help with chores, and do a lot of different activities together. They would learn from all of these activities and develop close relationships.

Today, because of distance and time pressures, his concern was that anytime grandparents and grand-kids got together, they were eating meals and having birthdays. There was no “doing, working or learning”. He feels we have lost/are losing one of the best ways to teach and grow families.

In counseling our clients who are grandparents, we have suggested that they “put their grand-kids to work” (give them chores and appropriate pay). It is amazing how often after a few visits with this focus, when asked what the grandchildren like best about going to visit the grandparents: We like to work!

• What and how are you teaching your grandchildren?

• Are you learning from them?  If not, what do you need to do to learn from them?

• What traditions and wisdom will your grandchildren pass onto their grandchildren?

If you are interested in learning more about leaving a legacy for your family and how you avoid or escape ineffective actions or paralysis, please contact our expert guides by calling 800-786-4332, or email JSabatini@AppliedVisionWorks.com.  Your family’s future awaits, and it only takes 30 minutes to get started!